i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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