This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
