This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
