I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
