she was so not down for the gang bang
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
