8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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