OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
