I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
