I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
