Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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