How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
