remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Found the puke drawer
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
