Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
