Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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