This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
