I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
