Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
