I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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