It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
