How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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