a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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