Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
this just has baby written all over it
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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