and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
