Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
My life is pants optional.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
