She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
