Hey man sorry I got all grabby
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
