Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
