Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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