This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
