The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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