I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
