I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
