yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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