Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
