I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
