I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
