Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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