Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he thought i was a dude.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
