Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You pole danced in your parka.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
