I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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