y did u give ur computer a hand job?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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