it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
