if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
