Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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