Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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