I just made out with a guy for $7.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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