Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
