we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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