I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
