I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
Randomize