East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
